I hope to never be this happy...

...EVER

Having said that I would have absolutely NO PROBLEM being as cliché as possible by owning one of these and being from the Jerz:


I mean, really.. TRY and tell me that she ain't a beaut!

Although I have to say, 215hp out of a V8 made totally made me LOL big time! Shit, I'm pushing more than that right now out of a 2.4L four banger!!

With any luck I'll break my goal (and transmission) of 250hp with my next upgrade...

Speaking of cliché Jersey stuff, you've GOT to love a little Bon Jovi action ESP when he's not actually singing it..

Oh and these really, REALLY made me wish my car was black and not purple!

I was actually throwing around the idea of rattlecaning the entire car until the spark of reason washed over me and said: If you're going to do it at least buy a fucking spray gun!

Oh wait, I'm sorry.. This is a BIKE related blog isn't it? Shit.. Sorry about that!

Hmm.. Let's see.. Well these are super gay:


This 72' Paramount is still giving me a good chubby every time I see it:


as did this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, and DEF this...

Ahahaha, well not so much that last one but hopefully having it up on your screen earned you some questioning looks. You really have NO IDEA how much weird shit I see on the internets while scouring for cycling related amusments..

Oh and speaking of orange things.. I've got two good ones for ya:

First off, this March 1990 issue of Bicycling Magazine that fucking esnipe missed due to a bad connection with ebay or some shit the fucking fuckers!


Which obviously bears a striking resemblance to one of the photos of my Jackson Phoenix:


Now that's just weird isn't it??!

ALSO..

I realized that my first 'real' bike was an all black, orange and red 88' Haro Invert:


That's right people, I'm still that 14 year old boy who's so infatuated with fire that I have to own things in a similar color range. That's the best photo I could find unfortunately. Here's the original 1988 Haro catalog. I KNOW I have it somewhere at my parents house. The catalog though, not the bike. I WISH I still had that bad boy. Some fucking asshole stole it while I was attempting to steal some cigarrettes or something. Oh shut up, you know you did stupid shit when you were younger too...

Lastly, something for all the Atheist meat eating metal punks out there:

No Gods, No Vegetables...

AWESOME fuckin' title man!!

Introducing Vallie Components: BEEFIEST FUCKIN' TRACK HUBS EVAR!!!

As most of you know, I've been tossing Lyle's name around here and there over the last few months. Aside from using me for my shop space and abundance of free parts (u no I luv u), Lyle's spent the better part of a year designing a GNARLY new set of track hubs that could withstand all the pain and withering abuse one could possibly ever take...

Oh and for all the studio wankers out there: I'm not a studio photographer! So I'm sorry if using something as inconsistent as a MIG welder for a light source horrifies you. Fuckin' pansies.. Anyways I suck at that shit so I figured, why not make it that much more challenging?! I think the photos came out fairly decent with a little bit of guess work:





More photos on my flickr set..

The hubs are easily the strongest, most solid ones I've ever seen for built for tracks bikes. Sitting one of them down next to a Phil Wood hub really shows you just how brutal they are. The flanges are taller, thicker and the bolts are HUGE! Bearings are wicked smooth too! I sincerely doubt there's any other track hub out there right now that's anywhere near as durable as this one..

For more information you can get in touch with Lyle to find out every minutely anal detail about these fantabulusly new hubs via his website:

Vallie Components

The hubs pictured are in Beta test phase now. Though I've been told that the revisions have already been made and are just awaiting further trials before the second wave are ready to be put into production.. More info on them as I get it!

For those of you attending NAHBS this weekend, you can meet him and see his hub in person. Be sure to say what's up and drool over their magnificence!

Also, I gave him a stack of promotional Monster Track DVDs that I got in the mail to hand out to people for free. He doesn't have a lot so the password is: 'Rocky IV' if you want one...

What I just saw walking to and from my lunch spot today...

First there was this fleet of bike car thingies:

Then on my way back I saw this sweet Panasonic funny bike locked up in the street:

The bike belongs to this dude Erin who came back to it as I was making some snaps. Nice guy! I seen him fly by me on it over on 6th ave a couple of weeks ago but I didn't have my camera out. He said it was something his friend 'just had sitting in his garage for years'..

Beauuuuuuutiful 'King of Mercia' Mercian SS frame!

I would SO be all over this if the ST wasn't so goddamn tall..

Built up:

Imagine if Bike Kill lasted three days...

...well you don't have to cause there's Mini Bike Winter.. 6!:

Minibike Winter VI [2009] from AllenInk on Vimeo.

Beauty and the Beasts! ..and finding out about a new skatepark by my house!

First off, a super lovely all chrome dream 72' Paramount roadie:

Franken Merckx:

and a Pegoretti with a SUPER ugly paint job:

It kind of reminds me of how I described an everything bagel to someone: Basically, they sweep the floors when they're done making all the bagels and just toss everything on the last batch...

Also.. I went skating since it was so nice out. Last week the kids who assemble in little groups across the street that periodically play ring and run at my building despite the fact that THEY LIVE ACROSS THE STREET saw me with my board. The little rat bastards asked me to do some tricks for them because you know, I was wearing my Ask me to do some tricks for you asshole t-shirt, so I obliged them by pulling off a clean nollie 360 flip first try. Surprising not only them but myself as well having not been on my board in over a month.. Anyways, they told me there was a new skatepark in Fort Lee and I was like: 'No way!'

I decided to go scope it out real quick before heading to Home Depot to buy some supplies to build my shop up with. What went from a having a quick roll around turned into a 3 hour shred session. I was stunned to learn the place had been there for like a year already- it was so mint!


Pretty fun park. My main gripes is that there's no big bank ramp and the concrete isn't polished. Which makes getting speed is a bit of a bummer.. At least if all the ramps had been set up with the grain instead of against it..

The most precious moment came when this fat little Turkish bastard on a razor scooter looked up at me and was like: 'What the heck- how old are you?!'

Yep.. Nothing like hanging out somewhere with a bunch of little kids less than half your age.. I mean some of those kids weren't even born yet and I was already sitting there trying to learn kick flips by watching Jeremy Klein do them on Skate TV and getting high in the woods behind my parents house!

Ugghh.. Anyways, my aging fat ass managed to have a good time none the less:



Please note that slam was actually BEFORE I landed the 5-0..

Walking away from a sesh with a double limp- Priceless! I totally went straight home and just laaaaiiiiiiid the fuck out...

and noticed someone was selling one of Sheldon Brown's bikes:


There's something about his bikes make me not want to hurl when I look at them. Probably because he always struck me such an overtly nerdy dude that I would expect nothing less..

More of his bikes here

Thankfully I did manage to get a bit done in the shop yesterday. Hopefully I can finish it up this coming weekend in time for Lyle to enjoy coming over and not having to start his day there by cleaning up...

I'M BAAACK!!! ..and boy has there ever been a lot going on!

Back from my little sabbatical from the blogishpere I hath returned!

Ya'll missed me didn't ya? Yup.. that's what I thought...

Welp, first things first... The Renny.. she is built:

From Japan to the Jerz.. yeeaaahh- that's right!

I decided it would be a good idea to lug it, along with a 40lb bag of camera gear up Dirtbag Mountain BY MYSELF for the photos.. It's this awesomely shitty/sketchy playground for motocross fans, burnouts and photards (another word for burnout) such as myself. As you can see it was a harrowing experience filled with many perils and super shitty light. Though both the Renny and I made it through unscathed..

More snaps on my Flickr set..

Specs:

3Rensho frame and fork
Dura Ace 7710 all around!
Araya gold tubular rims
Tufo Tubulars
Turbo Saddle
Nitto Slider stem and bars
Fizik wrap
MKS Royal Nuevo pedals and toe clips
Errebi straps

Thanks once again to Ben's Cycle for making it happen! Loooooove getting boxes full of goodies from them!!


(wheels weren't going to fit in there unfortunately)

As you could imagine, even despite my 'taking a break' I was unable to tear myself away from the all consuming thing that drives my daily existence.. eBay.. Okay, I'm not THAT much of a loser but it kinda feels like it when I see my watch list break a 100 items, hehe... UG..

In any case, there was many a luscious item that caught my attention. Such as this, this, this, this, this, this, this (3rd photo), this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, and OMFG this!!!


Wait a minute, did you send me a coupon Buddha?! I'm going to kill you!! If no one buys it, I'm totally going to have to take it off your hands.. AFTER I send Kiochi my 2k down payment. If he ever gets back to me of course.. I would do evil, evil things to that white and gold cherry of yours!

But THIS is the one that nearly made me break my self imposed vow of silence. I mean, COME ON.. REALLY???

WIFN is NOT going on with that thing???

Oh and this one really pissed me off something awful! Not just because it's an all white bike but because it's an all white BMX bike. Why the fuck would anyone put together and all white BMX together is BEYOND me...

As if that wasn't bad enough, fucking Macy's went ahead and set this shit up:


If you don't live here what you have to understand is that there's like 3 ghost bikes within two or three blocks of the building. I can just imagine one those silly display twats hopping in her cab to head back home to the upper west side and thinking- 'oh, well now that's pretty'..
Nothing would please me more than to walk in there with a big squeeze bottle full of red paint and squirt it all over the manikins. I figure at least then having the white bike would be more appropriate...

Let's see , what else has been going on

My mind is still being boggled by the prices that USED Pista Concepts are going for...

I heard a rumor that a Velocity rep on an aussi board just let it slip that they're making a deeper rim than H+son.. Whoop-de-do!

I listened to the Bad Religion discography I downloaded like 10 times..

Oh I also made some snaps of the ALAN (uh-lahn) finally- cracked HT lug and all:


I didn't go overboard with the build or photos on this one due to the small HT lug crack. That and it's a cm too small for me. Still super fun to just ride around my hood to run errands etc.. Super easy 44/16 gearing and a bunch of random parts from my bins along with the sweet deal on a set of local wheels.. Actually, the one thing that's interesting is the cranks. The drive side is actually a Campy pista tandem stoker crank. Meaning that the pedal threading is reversed. So I took apart a couple of MKS pedals and switched the axles to make it work. Not the safest/smartest thing but again.. Just cruising around town and it's on there tight enough to not warrant concern over it popping off. I suppose I could've just set it up as a left hand drive but that may have been a bit too weird.. The other side is a campy strada arm that matches it perfectly desite being a road crank arm...

Another interesting thing about the frame is that it was originally part of the collection I got my hands on a while back. It came with a vintage Stronglight crank, Phil BB and Campy Pista Headset for $100. When I spotted the crack in the HT lug I was kinda bummed and mention it to the seller in passing. He actually felt bad and gave me a $100 in credit towards other stuff! SO GOLD!!!

I also got interviewed for a story about bike pornography. I was hoping it would be posted by now but it's still being edited last time I checked. Of course after it was all said and done I felt like a bit of a douche seeing as how I've never been interviewed before. Not to mention the fact that I'm way too honest and forthcoming for some stupid reason.. Well, it is what it is I suppose. The dudes were cool as hell and I'm sure I'm just being super paranoid as per usual. I'm writing this not actually having seen it yet so I guess we'll see what happens when it's up...

I also went ahead and scanned the rest of the Rossin Calendar photos:


Yeah, I know that last one's fucked up. Don't worry I'll fix it soon enough...

aaaand the first one and two I scanned a while back again..

As you can see the original two are def the best ones. Not to say that some of these aren't but still...

Anyways, I'm hoping all of that makes up for my little vacation from the blogisphere.. I've got a lot of neat and or fun and or stupid projects coming up so stay tuned suckaz!

p.s. - remind me to never take another vacation away from this shit. this post was a bitch to assemble! damn.. time for another break!!

One SUPER HOTT Hobbs of Barbican fixer!

I wholeheartedly approve of the use of fire in these photos!

Very, very sexy...

via the the gallery...

For the love of christ can we PLEASE have one of these events here!!!

I've been wanting to have a sort of dapper gents and elegant ladies ride here in the city for a while now. This looks like it would've been a real gas!

***
Proper attire will of course be expected, so dapper gents and elegant ladies, polish off your lugged steel beasts and prepare your best outfits. Suggested attire: woolen plus fours, harris tweed jackets, flat caps, fair isle jumpers, alpaca coats, merino wool team jerseys, cycling skirts and perhaps a jaunty cape for the ladies, cravats or ties for gentlemen, and of course a hip flask of brandy.

Be sure to dress with a bit of panache, there will be prizes awarded for:

Most dapper chap

Most dashing dame

Best moustache (open to both men and women, of course)
Most enviable period bicycle
The Doff of The Cap award for most civilised behaviour on the day

***

Flicker sets here and here...

As seen on trackosaurusrex...

p.s. - Phil, I'm going to murder you if you didn't go to this!

I FUCKING FOUND THEM!!!!!!!!!!!

OMFG I've been searching high and fucking low all around my disastrously awful conundrum of an apartment for these god forsaken Cuevas decals. They somehow slid down, between and through a bunch of other junk where they hadn't seen the light of day in over 6 months...

Still debating on how I'd like the frame resprayed. I'm kinda diggin' on this one's paint job:

Only maybe with some white parts instead of black.. hmm..

Regardless, I would def like to attempt to keep it true to form some way or another. I have some Zeus track cranks that would go on it nicely along with a few other tid bits. I've already built it up and it rides so redonkulously nice it's not even funny. DYING to have this one repainted properly!

Any realistic suggestions and or links to photos are of course much appreciated..

Apparently 'street cred' really doesn't go for very much..

...because the auction I posted recently has finally ended with an outcome of all of:

$7.00 + $5.00 shipping..

I was going to toss a bid in there at the last second just for shits and giggles but then Lyle made the good point of: Street cred, or a tasty lunch.. When it comes to being cool or having a full satisfied belly, there really is no choice at all...

In any case, out of the 46 questions the seller of street cred got, these were my favorites:

Q:	Des it come with a side of fries?	Jan-23-09
A:	Really?!? That's not even a appropriate question. Nor is "Des" a real word.

Q:	How much to ship to Adelaide Australia for a triathlon association forum that is in desperate need of it? Cheers	Jan-21-09
A:	I would trade for a one way ticket and just bring it with me I would really love to try a vegiemight sandwich

Q:	I'm interested in your street cred and have a question. I'm an overweight guy that wants to start riding his bike again without people throwing things at me. Will this cred do anything for me since I am not a bike messenger nor do I race?	Jan-21-09
A:	Weight is not going to be an issue, I have a great fizik but I do love slightly overweight woman

Q:	I'm from Australia - we use the metric system here. Is your street cred easily converted from Imperial to Metric?	Jan-19-09
A:	Their might be an adjustment period but it would come around like a wild stallion that's being broke

Q:	Is there a certificate of credibility? also. Define "street"	Jan-19-09
A:	Yes their will be a certificate...Street is a presents all around you almost like a guardian Angel a very fast angel

Q:	How much for shipping to the UK? And would it work here?	Jan-16-09
A:	First off mate I love fish n chips. Not only would it work their it would spread... do you remember the monkey in outbreak?

I'm not exactly an NJS Fetishist...

...but I just HAD to have this:

Just won it on ebay moments ago along with some Dura Ace Cranks, BB and seatpost a couple of days ago. The first time I bought parts in anticipation for something that I KNEW I was going to win...

Anyways, don't think I'm going to go too bat shit crazy with this build but I am SUPER FUCKING STOKED to have finally found one of these gems in my size and in such good condition. Fast back model too! But yeah, def not planning on going all NJS with this one. The DA gear was all in good cond and cheap...

Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go put on some lipstick before I give Ben's Cycle a call. Hopefully my eyeshadow won't be too runny afterwards...